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Blood in the Chocolate
Publisher: Lamentations of the Flame Princess
by Mark G. [Verified Purchaser] Date Added: 02/06/2017 13:07:07

This adventure is essentially the 1971 musical film version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory written up as a dungeon crawl, except with some seriously unpleasant content added. The adventure's actual goal is to have all your PCs inflating like Violet Beauregarde because someone apparently has a thing about this. Pretty much all the hazards in the adventure have either a chance or a certainty of creating this effect.

Let's have an overview of some of the other delightful things in this adventure:

  • "Pygmies" who worshipped the master villain as a goddess because she was white, work as slaves in the factory, and attack the PCs with blowpipes. Now, ok, the Oompa-Loompas in the original Willy Wonka were pretty bad to start with, but it could have been improved a bit..
  • A scene where an NPC who is inflated like a blueberry is fastened to an altar being gang raped by 2d6 pygmies.
  • Two innocent children that the PCs can rescue from prison. A little while afterwards the PCs are asked to make a save and if they fail, there's a probability they'll be compelled to eat the kids. And yes, they're 100% real flesh-and-blood children, not made of chocolate or something like that.
  • Outside of the first 3-4 rooms, no treasure at all. Many of the rooms just have nothing in them that would be of interest to the PCs and there is no reason why they'd stick around.
  • A factory that makes chocolate which is incredibly popular all over the world and has been for years, even though it has a 10% chance of causing permanant and obvious debilitating side effects every time it is eaten. The adventure tries to hedge this by saying that it applies only to "chocolate eaten inside the factory" but nothing changes it when it leaves. On top of this, the reason it's so successful is because the factory is making chocolate bars 2 centuries earlier than they were invented in real life, but it turns out that the weird poisons and corrupted cocoa have absolutely nothing to do with this, and the factory would work perfectly well with ordinary stuff and presumably be just as successful.
  • Based on the above, a master villain who's described as being hideously evil even though she has no motivation to be nor any sense in being, and a quest that has the PCs trying to murder her and take over her factory because some other traders would like to own it instead. Oh, and the possibility that they'll meet her in the first room of the adventure and - since there is nothing in the adventure that powers up the PCs or weakens her, and a lot that harms the PCs - that's actually the best place to fight her.

The sad thing is that the layout of the adventure is great, the cheat sheets are useful, and the walkthrough comic is an excellent idea. So full marks for editing, but none at all for content.

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Blood in the Chocolate
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